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The blurb for Darkness at Dawn is finally up on the Samhain website. It’s about 70% different from the one I sent them. I’m not complaining, though. I worked hard on my version, but blurbs are definitely not my strong point. The new version is an improvement. Some of the lines are from the synopsis, which is nice because I worked hard on that, too.

I got some promo bookmarks designed last week, and they have the old blurb version on them. Ah, well. The bookmark is still pretty!

The warning is exactly the same as I wrote it, though. And oh, man was that fun to write.

I got news this week that a coworker (I only know her in passing) got the Cancer Death Sentence. She’s around my age. It made me step back for a moment and remember how short life is. Depressing stuff. But it also made me realize that I’m finally on the right path.

Often, when I thought about my own death, I got a deep sense of sadness that I hadn’t done much in my life, particularly when it came to writing. This time, I thought that at least my life was headed in the right direction. Sure, I wish I was getting more done, and that I was further along in my career. But at least now I’m on the right path. My first book is coming out in June. I’m writing a new (novelette/novella/novel) something. I’m editing a book and mustering the courage to submit it. Another book – or two or three – is waiting in the wings to be written. Other books are waiting for a second or third draft. I’m not just spinning my wheels, I’m moving forward.

I leave you today with a quote:

“I was once being interviewed by Barbara Walters…In between two of the segments she asked me…’But what would you do if the doctor gave you only six months to live?’ I said, ‘Type faster.'”

–Isaac Asimov

(excuse me while I fanboy all over this show)

This all started with a free preview of Showtime. Over the course of four days, I watched 10 episodes of Dexter season 4. The damn preview ended a day earlier than I thought it did, so I missed the last two episodes. I don’t know what happens with Trinity, and it looks like I have to wait til August (at a guess) to find out. Waaahhhh! The weekend after I got cut off, I went to the video store and rented the first disc of season 1. I didn’t even finish it before I realized I HAD to OWN this show.

OMG, I love Dexter! The premise of the show, the dark humor, the excellent writing and acting, everything about this show is covered in awesomesauce. I wonder what my neighbors think when I yell, “Get ’em, Dexter! Get ’em!” I know I have no problem rooting for him to catch and kill murderers, but it’s a testament to the quality of the show that much nicer people than me are Dexter fans.

Dexter himself, of course, is the highlight of the show. For those not familiar with it, Dexter is a serial killer, but his step father instilled in him a Code. Dex only kills murderers that will kill again. He prevents more murders by these people while satisfying his own need to kill. His job as a blood spatter analyst for the police department comes in very handy for this. He must be sure of his victims before he kills them, and many of those he kills have escaped legal justice for one reason or another. Dexter tries to lead a “normal” life in order to stay safe, and this forced veneer often conflicts with his true dark nature. His interior comments have made me laugh so hard on a few occasions I was almost in tears. The supporting characters are well developed, like his sister Deb.  Growing up with a father that paid more attention to Dexter, for reasons she’ll probably never know, and with her brother emotionally distant, she craves attention and love but hides behind a tough exterior. Dexter’s girlfriend Rita is emotionally damaged. He encourages her to be strong, and she coaxes some emotion out of him. Her two kids are adorable. Dexter’s coworkers are fun, too, from the suspicious Doakes to the pervy-in-a-funny-way Masuka.

The show is also providing a lot of inspiration for Crossbreed, my vampire/werewolf novel that is due for a complete rewrite. For a long time I’ve wanted to explore the idea that Crossbreed is killer, and not just for the blood. He needs to kill. That urge is a part of who he is, and all he can do is control who and what he kills. See the parallels? When I rewatch Dexter, it might be smart to have a notebook handy to write down some of the ideas it sparks.

Then there’s the outsider aspect, lying and hiding one’s true nature in order to “pass” in normal society. Crossbreed does have a few friends he can be himself with, but for the most part even among his own kind he’s an outcast. When he spends time with regular humans, he has to become someone else. At times he longs to be like them, to be a normal person, to be free of his dark nature.

Crossbreed needs two — well, three — things to make it be a public worthy book. 1. better writing, and I know I’ve gotten better in the last few years 2. more research to ground it in the time periods it’s set in, and 3. going deeper into emotions and psychology. Dexter is certainly giving me ideas for the latter.

Sometimes I start seeing a pattern in blog posts, articles, things people say to me, and so on. A theme, a subject that keeps coming up, and eventually I realize the universe is sending me a message.

Recently, the message has been that I should trust myself, along with other closely related messages like “follow your heart” and “don’t stop yourself”. So I’m listening — or trying to, anyway. I need to write the stories that set my imagination on fire, and not worry about repeating myself or whether they fit into a particular market or not. The story will never be perfect, but I can trust that if it excites me, someone, somewhere will also like it. Maybe an editor or agent, if I’m lucky. But if I don’t trust myself, if I don’t follow the stories that burn in me, how can I expect someone else to love my work?

Writing is hard enough, so why do I keep trying to make things harder on myself? My main characters tend to be of a similar type, and I worry that people are going to read this stuff and eventually go “hmm, this main character is sort of like the last three …” And I also want to challenge myself as a writer and go outside my comfort zone. But then I run into the problem of having a main character that’s supposed to carry an 8ok+ word novel that I just feel ‘meh’ about. I like them, but they don’t set me on fire like my lovely angry, dark past totin’, guilt ridden, good hearted characters do.

So in trying to stretch myself, I end up getting bored. In having a good time, I repeat myself. I think at this point in my career, it’s probably not something I should worry about too much. Maybe it’s something to revisit after I’ve published a few books. As my writers’ group reminded me, if I’m not entertaining myself, how am I supposed to entertain anyone else?

Apparently I have the memory of a goldfish since I just went through this in November and it didn’t stick. Vincent (who’s probably getting a name change) the main character from Flight, is an ok character.  Ok is not enough to carry a novel. The villain is muuuuuch more interesting to me. Whatever happens to Flight, I’m saving Eric Morrow and his boys.

The novel I just started has an ok main character. He might be saved by the suggestion of a fellow writer — that I write the story of how someone becomes one of my typical dark-tinged heroes.  Take a young man and ruin his life? Yeah, I can dig it.