Faith
This is the flip side to my post about fear last week.
Since I was 13 I’ve had faith that if I worked hard enough someday, somehow I was going to get published. Last year I had faith that two of my stories might be publishable. The shorter of the two got rejected, once with a very nice note. The other one was Darkness at Dawn. When I got the offer letter, I stared at in disbelief. Samhain might be small, but they have a good reputation (and they’re smart which I love them for.) So here was an editor basically telling me my story was good enough that they thought they could make money off it. That’s what an offer like this means, not so much this story is good although that’s certainly part of it, but we think we can sell this. When that aspect of it sunk in, I was even more stunned. Talk about an ego boost!
I choose to put my fear aside and have faith that I can repeat my success. Maybe not everything I write will find a home at a publisher, but I believe that some of it will.
Another part of faith is the faith that I can even write a story in the first place. I’m a pantser, also known as a discovery writer. I don’t outline. The idea of writing down an outline before I start writing sounds like story death to me. Writing detailed outlines and character bios and story arcs might be fun for some people, but not me. I get an idea and usually have some sort of ending in mind so I have something to aim for, and then I just write. I get more ideas as I write and the story starts to take shape. I might jot down some notes, but it doesn’t come close to an outline. Here’s the really cool thing: sometimes pieces start fitting together all on their own. In the story I’m working on now, things that were just “there” in the beginning suddenly became part of the plot. When moments like that happen, it’s just beautiful.
And it gives me faith that I can weave a story.
Today I choose faith over fear. I hope you do, too.