Ok, I don’t want to be downer but this is a legitimate feeling and I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels like this. Other than one very short story in a magazine that paid me in copy, I haven’t had anything published. Three weeks from tomorrow, my first release with Samhain comes out. While that’s super, super exciting, it’s also scary. People are actually going to read this, and they’re going to judge it. My baby is all growed up and going out into the big scary world. I don’t expect everyone to like it, that would be silly. But I’m afraid that maybe most people aren’t going to like it, that maybe one or two people will think it’s neat, and the rest will read it and think “This is crap!”.
I’m also afraid that no one’s going to buy my book, that I’ll sell ten copies to family and friends and everyone else will just ignore me.
And even if the book does do well, and people do like it, I’m worried that this is the best I’ve got. That the next thing I submit, and the next and the next will get rejected. Maybe Darkness at Dawn was a fluke and all my other stuff just isn’t good enough.
I keep telling myself not to worry about it, and most of the time I don’t, but that little voice still whispers. I’ve found ways to shut him up (like working on a new project), but unfortunately, I don’t think there’s a way to get rid of him. He just hangs out in my head, looking for weaknesses. Creepy little bastard.